For the past 12 years, I have struggled with an illness that has affected my ability to hold a job and interfered with my relationships. I had a lot of panic attacks at work, which led me to quit jobs frequently. I tried to commit suicide twice, and I had two psychotic episodes in which I was very delusional, very manic and then very paranoid. I've had two hospitalizations. I've been in continuous therapy for 12 years, changing doctors a lot. At first, my diagnosis was major depression with psychotic features. From time to time I stopped going to therapy and taking my medications. My doctors advised me to take a less stressful job, so I did. Four years ago, I had my second psychotic episode, put myself in the hospital and was diagnosed with Bipolar I Disorder. What a world of a difference a correct diagnosis makes!

Today I take my meds every day, I see my therapist weekly, I get 8 hours of sleep each night, and I keep the stress out of my life as best I can. I still have trouble with paranoia on a regular basis when I am in large groups of people, but in small groups of people I'm fine. Since my correct diagnosis, I have been stable enough to hold the same job and the panic attacks are gone. I've been dating the same man for three and a half years now.

At first I felt stigmatized because of my illness. How can you function in the world, if you can't trust your own perceptions, I wondered. I had one doctor who told me that I was burnt out, couldn’t work, and should collect Social Security Disability. But the more I focused on what I could do, the more I was able to do. My confidence increased due in large part to my therapist and boyfriend treating me as if I was "normal". This past year, I applied to law school. So far, I haven't gotten accepted to a school, but I did pass the law school exam, which qualified me to actually apply to schools in the first place. No matter what happens, this is a huge improvement over the way my life used to be, and I’m looking forward to an even better future.