Tabatha
Beginning a New Life  

I was 12 when I first found out I have bipolar disorder. I have been through a lot in the four years since then. I freaked out when they told me that I would have to live with this disorder all my life. Before I got this illness treated, I got angry very quickly. If you even looked at me, I would snap, although I didn’t mean to.

On my first visit to a psychiatrist, he told me what bipolar disorder was. Then he prescribed medication. Since then, I have taken at least 10 different medications in four years. Last year I started cutting myself to relieve my pain. No matter how mad I got at a person, I would take my anger out on myself. One of my teachers saw the cuts on my arms and the school called Family Services. I was almost removed from my home.

After that, I started using marijuana. It made me feel like I was a completely different person. I was so happy when I was high. Then when the high wore off I got depressed. This past summer I started using alcohol and I was raped when I was drinking. The next day I felt like no one wanted me around, even my own parents. I felt like everyone hated me.

It has been almost a year since I cut my arms, and I’m very proud of myself. It has been five months since I used alcohol and two months since I’ve used marijuana. I have really tried to make my life better for myself, my friends and my family. I haven’t gotten into trouble like I used to. I’m living a healthy life now and I’m finally happy.