Our Family and Friends:
Personal stories from loved ones of people 
with depression and bipolar disorder.

During those early years she spent very little time in school; found friends that were hopeless runaways; she also began to run away; and got into trouble with authorities by joyriding in a car of a friend’s parents while they were vacationing in Hawaii.  All of this led to a three month stay in Juvenile Hall.  Her mood swings were monitored while there; she was kept on medication; journaling was encouraged; and she and I were provided therapy. 
Vickie - A Lonely Mother

No matter how much I tell my nine-year-old daughter who has bipolar disorder that she does not have to be ashamed of her illness, our family still seems to become more and more isolated. 
Debra, Fighting the Circle of Shame

My brother was a kind, beautiful, generous and caring young man who didn’t want to hurt anyone.
Denise, Missing My Brother

My sweet, highly intelligent baby becomes a nightmare sometimes.  We battle lying, stealing, impulsivity, anger, depression, and much more.  I deal with my daughter with toughness and love, but I feel like I am always the bad guy.  I can't let up for a minute and it is hard.  But, I love her and what else can I do?
Kim, My Precious Jewel

My mother, brother, and sister all suffer from the illness.  I always wondered if one day I too would have it. I have watched each family member suffer in different ways.  I sometimes get angry for them.  I also wonder how the illness skipped me.  I have been angry, sad, and confused by this disease.
Sara, Bipolar Disorder in the Family

I didn’t Cause the illness in anyone, I couldn’t Control or Cure the illness in anyone. I was able to see for the first time that these 3 C’s applied to my mother’s bipolar illness as well. 
Billie, Recovery from a family illness

"My main concern is that we do not have the full support and understanding of the school to help through these episodes.  They simply isolate her rather than being calm and asking her to do something else, or read, whatever it takes to help her.  My daughter has been put in detention and ignored."
Jamie, A proud mother

"The heartbreak occurred when, during a manic high, he decided to divorce me and marry another woman, leaving the kids and me to make it on our own.  He married the other woman and together they moved from state to state for five years.  Rarely could he even find the strength to contact our two children, who are now young adults."
Holly, My ex-husband's illness

"At the age of eight, my son had no social skills and problems at school with peers and with teachers. He was always in trouble. His self-esteem was in the toilet, and he couldn't sleep. He wanted to kill himself so we admitted him to the hospital. He was there for a week, and our world was in shambles."
Corie, My son's story

"One day she was in the car with me, driving down a highway at 50 mph. She got out of her car seat, began to hit me, and as I was trying to pull over, she opened up the car door to jump out. She was laughing the entire time but also being very angry and aggressive toward me. I managed to pull over safely, hanging on to her for dear life."
Celina, I'll never give up on my daughter

"How did I deal with this? Not very well I'm afraid. I wondered - was she seeing someone else? Had someone said something to her at work to hurt her? Was she simply tired of me and no longer happy?"
David, My wife's two extremes

"Instead of the intense day-to-day roller coaster ride we went through for ten years, he has enjoyed three years of stability."
Tara, My son's hope

"I am helping to raise her four year-old son. I picked up the pieces after she attempted to live on her own. I hoped that seeing her stepfather take his medication, see a doctor, spend time in the hospital, and work on feeling better would convince her that treatment would help her. But it hasn’t, and they now fight more than ever."
Karla, My soulmate and my daughter

"My brother is 21, and he has bipolar disorder. He's been having a hard time dealing with this illness. After 4 years he's been fighting it, and still hasn't accepted that he has it. I talk to him often (I live relatively far away) and his voice sounds different every day. My dad says he's "fine," meaning, "he's still there."
Mackenzie, There is Always Hope

"I listened. I learned. I loved. I hated the illness. I fought it. I tried to embrace it.  I also felt guilty that I didn’t have bipolar disorder and wasn’t able to live with someone who did."
Bonnie, A Family Illness

"I wish I could do more for her, more to help her deal with her illness. I love her, and will stay by her side no matter what."
Mark, Learning to Understand

"Since my brother’s diagnosis, it has been an emotional roller-coaster for our family, and he has been hospitalized three times. I was in complete denial for years about his problem and couldn't bear visiting him in the hospital because I couldn't stand seeing him in so much mental anguish."
Sandy, My Brother's Story

"Showing that you care and love someone no matter what is probably the most important thing that you can do. Just be there and try to understand what they are trying to deal with. You must also LISTEN to them when they are trying to express how they feel. It's hard sometimes, but know that it will work out for the best."
Michaela - Loving, Learning, and Listening

"I encourage all family and friends who love someone with bipolar disorder to learn as much as you can about the illness. No, you cannot change the person, or force them to accept their diagnosis. But, for your own sanity and coping ability you need to learn about the illness and different behavioral and pharmaceutical treatment choices available to your loved one so you can help them make informed decisions and choices when they are ready."
Shana, Learning about bipolar disorder

"I ran. I hid. The shorthand "meds" made me cringe. Not my reality. Not in my power 
to cure."
Karen, In memory of a friend

"We now have community support with my son’s counselor, and he has made great progress. Living with this disorder is not fun, but it can be done. Make yourself knowledgeable about the disorder and always tell the child it is not his fault, it is an illness. Above all, always support your child, no matter what."
Yvonne, Supporting Your Child

"I have heard it said that only the weak seek psychiatric care, or that prayer is the only answer; people should pull yourself up by their bootstraps and carry on. My observations lead me to believe that only a strong person is willing to delve into their innermost being to shed light on the things in their past to change the present."
Cora, Seeing the truth about mental illness

"I am very close to my brother emotionally, and he is so bright, kind and loving when he is not having a manic or depressive episode... I cope with the pain, confusion and even guilt by praying a lot and reminding myself that I just need to love my brother no matter what. He is sick and I have to remind myself of that and love him. I am in the process of trying to find a support group for my family. I am trying to learn all I can and help in that way."
Haylie, Knowing my brother

"As parents we didn't understand and didn't know what bipolar disorder was, and had never been faced with a situation like this. We didn't know how to help him and felt helpless. I had no idea where to turn or who to talk to. My husband and I started to blame ourselves and each other for his illness."
Vivian, Out of the dark

I have gone through the full range of emotions dealing with him, because I love him dearly and just want to help. I am just learning that all the love in the world will not make him better until he accepts that he has an illness and is willing to participate in his own recovery...  My message to other loved ones and family members who are dealing with this illness is that we cannot fix them. All we can do is say we will be there for them when they are ready.
Lilly – Accepting a boyfriend who doesn’t accept his illness

"The most important thing to remember is that none of us should treat this as a secret! This is just part of our lives and we all need to deal with it together."
Renee, raising a son who has bipolar disorder

"When she was first diagnosed with ADHD she saw a psychologist. I would explain her behavior, but he wouldn't listen. He would try to help her with "anger management." It just wasn't working, so we stopped seeing him after 6 months.  Then I read an article about bipolar disorder and started to educate myself about the illness. The article described my child to a tee."
Lisa, Seeking help and the right diagnosis for a child

"This story is about a child of mine. She is only nine years old and all her life has struggled with medications. From the time she was born, I asked the doctor if she might have bipolar disorder and was told they didn’t diagnose bipolar disorder a child is at least a teenager."
Grace, Learning to be a Family Again

"I am so convinced now – if treatment isn’t working, it’s so important to get a second opinion or even a third! I would have never thought a four year old would think about killing himself - but now we are getting closer and closer to a "semi" normal life and I am thankful every day that we know what is happening and that there is help."
Melissa, Get as Many Opinions as it Takes.

"I encourage everyone to just not let family members’ illnesses get you into a state where you are as ill as they are, I almost got there. Try to keep yourself going, because you cannot help the loved one if you are in the same shape, can you?"
Virginia, Having a Spouse with Bipolar Disorder

"One thing I have learned with his help, is that I can not be a chronic problem solver...  As his partner, I understand that his manic or depressive states are not a result of me, or about me for that matter, it is a result of a chemical imbalance..."
Mary Anne, Loving a man with bipolar.

"As a mother, I personally know what it’s like to have your life turned upside down. If we could have diagnosed her a little sooner, it would have been great. I was afraid one of us would kill the other. Even though she’s much better, she still can have outbursts, which are painful to me. Being a mom of a child with bipolar disorder can be especially tough."
Diane, Caring for a child with bipolar.

My daughter started having trouble in kindergarten with being agitated and restless. By first grade, her grades had begun to suffer, and by second grade her relationships with friends and family were in serious trouble.
Sheila, A family learns to live with childhood bipolar disorder.