Stephanie
Another Life

Through my experiences with mental illness all my life, I have learned how to deal with the symptoms.

At times, I felt sorry for myself, I didn’t care anymore, I had thoughts and attempts of suicide, I felt alone, abandoned, misunderstood, and my self-esteem was terrible. I felt depressed, angry, sad, fearful, overwhelmed, happy, and so many emotions. My ability to concentrate dropped to an all-time low. So I slept my time away and watched TV a lot. I also ate a lot.

Doctors and therapists came and went. I also tried many medications off and on throughout the years. Day after day, night after night, time just kept passing. Somewhere along the way, I lost weeks, months, and years.

Eventually, I learned to take risks again. It was really hard for me to care again. As I accepted my illness, I began to heal. I began to understand my thoughts and feelings.

The change started when I began to participate in my healing process and choices. Spirituality helped me a lot, along with biofeedback, and medications. I can now educate myself about my illness and life experiences. It’s hard but I have learned to keep going. I anticipate and understand my weaknesses now.

I changed my environment, my perspective of life, my relationships with others, and how I deal with things in general, along with many other things. This in turn, created change in my life. I learned to make decisions and I became empowered again. I learned to communicate and have feelings again. I gave feedback and I received it. I gained positive role models in my life and I took advantage of what life had to offer me.

My attitude today is knowing that each day brings a new challenge. I go one step forward and three steps back. Yet I know I can have occasional relapses, but they get easier to survive. I have learned to rest, keep a routine, eat a healthy diet, drink lots of water, exercise, relax, and enjoy my time alone and with others. I also have the opportunity to try and to fail, and then try again.

In closing, I feel we all must join together to be heard. We must also fight stigma. We have a lot to offer, so we should always dare to dream.