Sean
Stay the course

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was about one year out of college.  I was struggling with a new job, finances, and difficulty in a relationship.  Eventually I moved back home, suffering my first major melancholia.  That depression lasted a few months.  I was treated with an anti-depressant which got rid of the depression but put me into a manic episode.  I then went on a month-long journey through the maze of mania.  After a family intervention, I was hospitalized.  In the hospital I fought against medication.  After going off of the medication and having a few more episodes, I realized I needed to stay the course.  The bipolar storm left bankruptcy, weight gain and loss of self-esteem in its destructive path.  I had been a good athlete all my life and captain of a football team.  After all of that, I didn’t know who or where I was.

Eventually I went off my medications when I got a new sales job.  Things went well for about three years as I won sales awards and was promoted into leadership.  I had managed to block my illness out, and I self-medicated with alcohol.  Eventually I left that company for other jobs, bought a house and moved in with a woman I truly loved.  All that time, I was in a downward spiral.

In the beginning of 2002 I decided to seek help again.  I was frustrated with the fact that things were not working in my life.  I was still drinking to get rid of my anxiety.  I had taken on too much, and everything finally came to a head.  I quit my job due to overwhelming anxiety.  I lost the relationship I adored but felt incapable of holding onto.  I was angry, hurt and frustrated.  After losing the woman I loved, I was finally hit with the realization that I needed to take action on my own.

The positive steps I have made since then have been remarkable.  I still have many struggles and fears that I have to work on but things have been going pretty well.  I have been on a steady medication regimen.  It took a while to find it, but it is working and I have a better perspective on life.  Medication and cognitive therapy have helped a lot.  I am lucky that I have a strong family support network.  I hope to have a successful relationship someday soon.