I can't say with any accuracy how many years of my life were buried under the burden of depression.  A long time ago, people didn't have the same level of understanding that we do now.  We were simply told to "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps", and if we couldn't, the alternatives were few and horrifying.

Men, especially, were expected to be "strong" and carry themselves in a certain way.  These were the values passed along to me by my parents, and to them by their parents.  Today I know that having depression doesn't mean I’m weak or stupid.

On the one hand, I've had many successes while still struggling with the inner demons brought on by depression. Writing is my hobby, and using my gift of expression, I started from scratch and built more than one very successful online discussion group.  I've posted poems and stories that have given inspiration to people. But I was in denial all along, and eventually everything caved in on me.

I had been scared to admit I had this illness, and afraid that taking medication would somehow rob me of my ability to express myself creatively. It wasn't until earlier of this, my 39th year, that I finally asked my doctor for help.

Today I'm dedicating part of my time to encouraging anyone else like me to take that big step.  Because I know what it is to feel good again!  And I want you to know that it can happen for you, too.