Michelle
A Teen Trying to Live

I’m only 14. I’ve been through much more than most 14-year-olds, but I’ve also learned much more. 

The first time I was hospitalized was when I was 12, for depression. It felt like I was alone in the world. I was in the hospital for about two weeks. Then they diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. Back then I didn't really understand what it was. I never knew how much it could affect my life.

I’ve lost so many friends and my family has been through so much pain. I got my front teeth knocked out trying to fit in.

I hate taking medication. I don't know why, I just do. A year after my first hospitalization I went back to the hospital for a checkup because I was freaking out about how it had been a year. I soon learned it was normal for kids to do that. I stopped taking my medication, and about six months later I ended up back in the hospital. I was slipping back into my anger and a little bit of depression. After that hospitalization I realized a lot of things.

I’m old enough to know that this illness isn't going to go away. I’m going to have it forever. That does sadden me, but I will get through it. I’m taking my medications now and I am happy. I wish I had learned this three years ago. I might not have gone through so much pain and hardship.

I’m grateful for all this because it made me stronger. I learned life lessons at a young age that I will know forever. Some people don't learn these lessons until they’re much older. Some people never learn them.

One of my closest friends also has bipolar disorder. He always tells me to think of it as a gift and not something bad because it helps you look at life in different ways. With this illness, you see things you never would have otherwise.