I started having symptoms of bipolar disorder about seventeen years ago but I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder. So I received anti-depressants that threw me into manic episodes. My life was an up and down merry-go-round for about four years until I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was prescribed several different medications, some of which made me sick. I stopped taking them and made my life even worse. So, for about four more years I went from one treatment to another, all the while having manic episodes that I thought were just immoral activity. I suffered deep guilt and shame for the things that I did when manic and the depressions that followed made the pain horrible to deal with. I came home in 1995 and started getting treatment at a clinic that really made the difference for me. I started taking newer medications that had come out, as well as some older medications.

I am more stable today, but stress can still cause me to have an episode. I have been in very stressful situations lately, involving my daughter who also has bipolar disorder. She is just now getting comprehensive treatment but she previously used street drugs to deal with her disorder. For the most part I do well, then an episode will occur (the most recent one after four years of stability!) and throw me into a cycle of mania then deep depression.