I was with my boyfriend, who I thought was just moody, unpredictable and childish, for 2½ years when he had his first severe mania and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He also has pretty bad delusions and psychosis associated with it. He has had 2 hospital stays, one for 6 days, one for 23 days. He refuses to take medications, saying they make him "more manic", although everyone around him says they see some improvement when he is on them (which so far has only been when he is hospitalized).

I have gone through the full range of emotions dealing with him, because I love him dearly and just want to help. I am just learning that all the love in the world will not make him better until he accepts that he has an illness and is willing to participate in his own recovery. My being his punching bag was not helping anybody, especially him.

My message to other loved ones and family members who are dealing with this illness is that we cannot fix them. All we can do is say we will be there for them when they are ready. We may have a tendency to beat ourselves up and feel guilty, like somehow it is our fault that they blew up, or can't calm down, or are distraught. Or maybe we think they would get better if we could just be different, better people, which isn’t true. It is hard not to feel that way because we get very mixed messages from them!

I told my boyfriend that I will always be here for him when he is ready, whether it is as a girlfriend or wife, or just as a friend. The main thing I wanted to tell him is that he is safe with me, and that is all we, as loved ones of a bipolar person, can do. Stay strong for them and continue to hope and pray for them, and most of all keep encouraging treatment, even though they might hate you for it! It took me many months to get to this point. I would buy his anti medication argument because I didn't want to anger him. However, it was not helping him because he would get worse each day. I believe there is hope for him, and I will continue to make every effort to encourage him to seek help.