For the first 9-10 years of my daughter’s life, we thought that we just had a strong willed child. She would just be a little difficult to manage, but not horrible, just like a regular child, no violent behaviors or anything. Then we moved. We are in the military and had lived in the same place since my daughter was 2. Leaving her close friends was difficult for her. About a week before we moved, she screamed out at me when I asked her something. Then within the same few days, I told her one night to take her bath, and she refused, getting very angry. When I pursued the request, she came into the living room, picked up a clock and threw it across the room, which scared the hell out of me. I had never seen this.

Over the next few weeks, as we moved to our new location and got settled, she was miserable. After she started her new school, I started getting phone calls two or three times a week with problems. The kids would say something to her and she would get mad, then she would cry which made her even madder. Then she started having these "episodes" at home, starting at about one or two a month, lasting 30-45 minutes, where if I asked her to do something she didn’t want to, she became very angry and eventually violent. She would punch me, kick me, and say horrible things right to my face. Then I noticed how her face would change. I would try not to cry, but I always did, and she would get in my face and laugh, and I swear she looked like a demon. She looked as if she would kill me. After a few minutes, she would change, her face would totally change and the tears would come.

These episodes became more frequent and lasted longer, so we went to counseling and a psychiatrist, who put her on medication for ADD which did nothing. I started to try and get help - calling hospitals to get evaluations done.

One night soon after, we had the major blowout. My husband had to hold her off of me and literally sit on her, to keep her from coming at me. She was extremely verbally and physically abusive. We called the hospital I’d been talking with and was told to call 911, which I did. Later that night, we were in a psychiatric hospital. A wonderful doctor took her case, heard about my family history and correctly diagnosed her with bipolar disorder. I have a family history of alcoholism and abusive behavior that goes way back, from the stories I’ve heard.

My daugther was started on medication, and after first 3 weeks, she was a changed person. She has had it adjusted a few times to curb distructive behaviors and thoughts. She still has her moments, but she is about 85% better than she was, she’s an A/B student, smart as a whip, and involved with good people, friends and church.

As a mother, I personally know what it’s like to have your life turned upside down. If we could have diagnosed her a little sooner, it would have been great. I was afraid one of us would kill the other. Even though she’s much better, she still can have outbursts, which are painful to me. Being a mom of a child with bipolar disorder can be especially tough. Thanks for letting me share my story. It helps to know there are others out there.