Darlene
A bumpy road but a good road

I am almost 23 years old, and have lived with the bipolar disorder for as long as I can remember. My mother said I was very active before I was born and I stayed that way. At first, I was a considered to be hyper and poorly behaved then I was diagnosed with ADHD. I was put on medication, with bad results, and then taken off of it. From that point on, my symptoms became far worse. I rapidly cycled between manic and depressed episodes. Finally, after I had seen many doctors who didn’t seem to have a clue, a nurse practitioner figured out what was going on with me after looking at my mother and seeing she also had clear symptoms of bipolar disorder. I went though trial after trial of different medications. Along the way, I tried to die several times. I kept getting worse. I finally refused to take another pill, and went medication-free for seven years.

I was raped and as a result became pregnant. After my son was born, I returned to school. At that time, I decided to give medications one more try. I had to make it through college to give my child a better life then I had, and I needed to be well to make it through college.

When I first went back on medication, I had to deal with a foggy brain for about two months till I adjusted, but now I am able to function fairly well. I have had a few times over the past 2 years when my symptoms (such as delusions) got worse and my medication had to be increased. There will always be bumps in the road, but it’s still a pretty good road.

I will graduate from college next spring and I have managed to keep up a 3.22 GPA. The medication I am taking is not a "standard" treatment for this disorder, but without it, I would not be where I am today. I have tried to other treatments with no success, and I finally found one that worked. My message to others who are struggling with this illness and think they will never be able to take care of themselves is – don’t give up. There is hope – you can do it! You can find the right treatment and get better.