Chuck
Open all night?

Since 1976, I have had 27 years of reflection and the benefit of 20/20 hindsight to better understand and cope with my bipolar disorder. In recent years I have been episode-free.

From the onset of my illness, my life was like a roller coaster ride, up and down, up and down. Without the benefits of medication, I think I would be either dead or confined to a state institution. There were many episodes of mania and hypomania, fights, verbal abuse and broken things. Family members constantly had to intervene. I was abusive to my wife and family. I was also unable to hold a job and my wife had to support the family. For the most part, she and I had a loving relationship until my manic episodes would put our lives into a tailspin.

In 1996, after an out of control manic episode, my wife insisted that I enter a mental health facility. The following month she filed for divorce. This put me into a worse mania that landed me in the psychiatric unit of the jail. After jail I entered another mental health facility where a psychiatrist sent from heaven started to adjust my medication to the point where I began to recover.

In the following months, my wife and I tried several times to reconcile, but we ended up divorced by the end of 1996. I was under constant stress and received a poor evaluation at my job. I attempted suicide and wound up back in the mental health facility.

Recovery was slow for me, but with the help of a knowledgeable doctor, a new medication, a number of supportive friends, one of my sons who never turned his back on me, daily psychotherapy sessions and group sessions large and small, I was able to return to health. I later met a wonderful woman who made every possible effort to educate herself about my illness, attended support groups with me, drove me around and helped me manage my medications.

There are many myths and unfortunately, there is still a lot of ignorance about this illness that contributes to its stigma. People need to know that this illness is inherited and nobody of any age or background is immune. This is an illness, not a character or personality flaw, and awareness and education are the best things we can do to combat stigma. Often, manic episodes require hospitalization.

To my sons, with love, my only hope is that you will one day realize my bipolar disorder is an illness like cancer or heart disease, and that people live productive lives every day with this illness. I did not plan for my episodes to disrupt our lives or frighten the family. Sometimes it’s impossible to control them when they overwhelm me and I become a prisoner to my irrational behavior. Families will have difficulties and unpleasant moments living with someone with this illness, but support and coping techniques can be a great help. The illness can be arrested and families can lead enjoyable lives.