Angela
Learning to live

I have battled depression all my life. I have always felt alone, even in a crowed room. I have panic attacks. I cry a lot. I’ve had three nervous breakdowns. I have been hospitalized three times. I heard voices and saw things that were not there. I saw living and dead people. I heard voices. It was one of the most horrifying ordeals of my life.

Sometimes I don't understand myself. How I can be so happy one minute and so sad the next?

I was diagnosed at age 25, after years of isolation, loneliness, suicide attempts, not loving or liking myself, confusion, physical pain, not being able to keep a job, and my family not understanding what was wrong with me. All that ended in 1991 when I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I did not know anything about any mental illness until several months after my nervous breakdown. By that time I had gotten my mind back.

It is hard to cope some days, but I know I have to survive. I am learning to love myself, love life, love living, and have hope. I am trying to stop denying that I have a mental illness and MOST IMPORTANTLY – STAY WITH MY TREATMENT! 

To whomever reads this: If you are suffering, there is hope.

I have my faith in God, and a loving husband of fourteen years who has supported me for 22 years. I was once told that if you have bipolar disorder, it’s impossible to stay married. I have proved that’s not true.